


Where Clever is being a jerk and someone need to stop it

by matthewsmith



Series: In Which Clever and The Doctor find each other again [2]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-22
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-03-02 18:27:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2821907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matthewsmith/pseuds/matthewsmith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which in The Doctor's pov what he had to go through to get Clever to be his again, without putting him on the naughty step.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where Clever is being a jerk and someone need to stop it

**Author's Note:**

> It's just as bad with Eleven when he tries his best to get his love life in check. Especially when said love of his life is being a jerk about it all.

In some lives we never meet. Sometimes those were either not meeting you or you dying before we had the chance to meet, that was a bad time. A lot were when you wouldn’t acknowledge me or would purposely ignored. 

Then there were those times you found someone else, I couldn’t stop you and those nights where I would cry. 

I suppose it was stupid to say that I want to see you and just surprise you; i found you too late the first time, you had died for something I don’t remember it so well, I had felt my life just go on without me really knowing what I was doing. It had gone and the next time you moved away without so much of a goodbye. No hello either when we saw each other, you walked past me like I was nothing, nobody really got me as much as you used to in school. We used to laugh so much, now you turned into a cold person, you would use people. I wanted to help I wanted to find that friend I used to know, it seemed that he had gone for too long because even I couldn’t recognize him. 

I loved you with all my heart, hearts. You wouldn’t let me go anywhere even if you were the daft ol’ cyber planner that didn’t know what anything was the first time you knew you were different. You never tried to control me or Clara. Even though she had it against you, you still tried to be nice, I could understand why you felt like everything was against you, you tried to repay the world for all you did and I think in the end the universe gave you a chance. It gave both of us another chance. 

We spent our lives happily, I wish that could be said for the lives we spent looking for the other. 

You were always alone or with someone in that live, I didn’t even know who it was. I suppose I never knew how lonely you could be just like me, but you went on with her, married her and all the while I wished I was that person you married, I wish I had lived with you. I couldn’t even tell you what I wanted, being bullied through live scared me bad. Please find me. 

Most lives you never existed but in my imagination, I would be called crazy. But you fell for my best friend, I’m not sure I can watch you two. This makes me want to crawl into a small place, sometimes I don’t remember, other times I remember so clearly that I try to find you. Knowing you’ll look the same with those blood red eyes that make me smile and make me feel loved, but you aren’t looking at me with the loving look you should. 

I wish you wouldn’t hurt my feelings in those small ways, your death is the worst for me. I never even meant to do it, I was so busy. I was going to tell you I loved you and treat you, but when I got home you were gone. Not even enough time to explain, I’m slowly giving up that you’ll remember me and love me. 

To be with the one person my heart beats for. 

I wish I could say sorry for the life’s that I upset you, I truly do. So please don’t die on me anymore? My life seems to be pretty horrible for the most part and I’ll accept you for what you are if you give me another chance. You didn’t make me any better either. 

The one live you bullied me into suicide, I wanted to help. I was barely ten. I suppose some lives we weren’t meant to be, I would end up dead or scarred for life because I fell for you. 

Or you would fall for Clara and follow her around like a lost puppy and I would be the friend that only gets talked to when you needed me, I left because I couldn’t take it anymore. You hung around the wrong crowd, called me hurtful names. Pushed me away from even trying, sometimes even tried to get further when I told you I didn’t want you to. 

This time I hope nothing terrible happens, I have you finally and I want you to stay with me. Because I remember the life before when we promised to spend our life’s together, I promise never to leave you and I don’t care whether you’re an ex thief, your mine now and whatever we do we do it together across the world. As long as you can deal with me being the warrior I always am. 

I love you, you and your art and me and my music. 

Let’s try our hardest this time. 

-John

**Author's Note:**

> I will start eventually the third part to this where they actually meet and turn it into a story not just a one shot.


End file.
